Mentoring

Have you ever wished that you had a career coach or somebody that you could turn to for advice, support and encouragement in your career goals. You may have heard of the concept of mentoring, but not actively pursued a mentoring relationship. As a career minded Military Spouse, it is imperative that you have a mentor. As you move from duty station to duty station, and from job to job, you will come across unique career challenges.

A mentor is someone who believes in you and wants you to succeed. They are typically more senior, have experience in your career field, and are willing to help you. He or she is a trusted ally that can provide critical feedback, encouragement, and wisdom in your decision making process. Having a mentor can help develop and refine your professional capabilities and improve your career prospects.

How can a Mentor help me?

You can learn from their experience.

Your mentor will usually be senior to you. They may have faced many of the same career or work-life challenges that you are facing. They can draw on their experience, successes and lessons learned to provide you with advice and suggestions.

They can help you network.

Your mentor will often have a multitude of professional connections and contacts that they can share with you to help build your career.

They will help you set career goals and hold you accountable.

Discussions with a mentor are very useful for identifying your short, intermediate and long term career goals and developing a plan for achieving them. Acknowledging and talking with someone about your career ambitions is a very important step toward achieving those ambitions. Your motivation and drive will improve if you have shared those career goals with your mentor!

They are a confidante.

It can sometimes be difficult to seek advice on difficult issues in the workplace. Your mentor needs to be someone you can trust so that you can turn to them for advice and a different perspective on handling workplace issues. You can also discuss your weaknesses and strategies for improving them without the concern that revealing these weaknesses may impact your future advancement. Your mentor is somebody you can bounce ideas off - a sounding board with no vested interest apart from the desire to see you succeed.

Who should be my mentor?

Your mentor doesn’t have to be a Military Spouse, although it can certainly be helpful to have a mentor who understands the challenges of the military community as well as your career field. Ideally, your mentor is someone with significant experience in one aspect of your chosen career field. You should admire him or her and have a natural connection when speaking with that person. Retired and Past Military Spouses who work or have worked in your career field can be great mentors, as can be previous supervisors or previous company leaders with whom you developed a strong working relationship. Seeking a mentor in your current position or company can be problematic as you may not be able to seek advice on all workplace issues or your long term plans as openly.

How do I find a mentor and start a mentoring relationship?

One of the best places to find a career mentor is through the Military Spouse Mentoring site, the MilSpouse eMentor Program. This program allows you to find both military spouse and corporate mentors anywhere in the world. The mentors have volunteered their time and you can read about their backgrounds in order to identify a mentor that you would like to work with. Another way to find a mentor is to directly approach a professional you admire through a professional association, a website such as Linked In or In Gear Career, or in person.

The key to forging a mentoring relationship is to be open to opportunities. When you feel a natural connection with someone, just ask for help. Tell them what you admire or respect about them and ask to meet them for coffee and learn more about their career path. For the most part people enjoy sharing their experiences and helping others. You have nothing to lose by asking. If they say no it’s usually because they are simply too busy and they may be able to suggest someone else as a possible mentor. Remember your mentor does not need to be in your location. Technology allows you to converse via phone, skype and email so a mentor can be anywhere in the world!

What should the relationship look like?

Once you have established a connection with a mentor, ask if they would be willing to communicate on a regular basis. You may meet once a month with a mentor in your location, or connect very 2-3 weeks via email or phone. The relationship needs to be mutually rewarding so consider the following recommendations.

Respect their time.

Suggest meeting once a month, but always ask how much time they are willing to give. Adjust your schedule to accommodate them and show that you value their time by limiting engagements to appropriate lengths.

Consider reciprocity.

Don’t just “pick” their brain. Think about what you can offer them that will add to their brain-power! Some mentors get a reward from a creative exchange and will appreciate reverse mentorship. Do some research ahead of time to add to the conversation rather than just asking away. What can you teach them about social media, the latest in pop culture or how to motivate 20-somethings in the workplace? Recommend and forward articles that may be of interest to them and think about how you can ‘give back.’

Show appreciation and share your success.

A mentor is volunteering their time. Make sure that you thank them and share how important their help has been in contributing to your success.

Consider becoming a mentor

Many professionals will have a mentor, but also be a mentor. Consider the experience and knowledge you have developed throughout your professional career. You may be a wonderful mentor for a junior military spouse, or someone just starting out in their career. A mentoring relationship can be incredibly rewarding for both the Mentor and the Protege so consider offering your time to support, encourage and advise someone else.

For additional reading on mentorship, visit the following articles:

A Modern Mentor is a Listener Too by Eileen Zimmerman

How Becoming a Mentor Can Boost Your Career by Lisa Quast

You’re Never Too Old - or Too Successful - to Need a Mentor by Gary Shapiro

Do you have a mentor? Share your thoughts and advice on mentoring with other Military Spouses in the comments section below.