Wellness

It is not easy to juggle the demands of a career and a personal life, and this challenge is more pronounced for Military Spouses who must also deal with the transient nature and additional personal responsibilities of the military lifestyle. As a career-minded Military Spouse, you know that balancing fulfilling work, good health, an active lifestyle, quality time with family, and service to others is a constant quest. So what is wellness, and how can we strive to achieve it?

Wellness is the active process of becoming aware of and making choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. Consider wellness a state of complete mental, physical and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity There are many interrelated dimensions of wellness, and nurturing each element is important. Although the pursuit of wellness is a unique process for every individual, the considerations below can help address the specific challenges you face as a Military Spouse in each of the three main areas of wellness.

Mental Wellness

Although genetics play a part in shaping mental wellness, societal influences and stress have a significant influence on our day-to-day mental well-being. Unemployment, major changes in life, and the stress associated with military deployments and long-term separations from a partner are all issues Military Spouses are very familiar with. They are also issues that can negatively affect your mental wellness. Use the ideas below to explore ways in which you may be able to improve your mental wellness.

• Find Fulfilling Employment.

  Finding fulfilling employment is an important factor in achieving mental stimulation and wellness, but can be very difficult in some areas. Small communities and overseas locations may have very limited career options in your field, and this can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. You may also experience an extended job search in a location with a very competitive job market. In these situations, it is important to recognize that you are facing challenges that may be beyond your control. Approaching these situations with a realistic outlook and without losing confidence in your occupational abilities is important. If you feel you have fully explored all avenues for meaningful employment in your location without success, consider the following questions:

  • Will you be happier in an unfulfilling job, in unpaid/volunteer work in a fulfilling activity, or by taking a break from the workforce to focus on other aspects of your life?
  • Which of the above will be most valuable to you in securing meaningful employment in your next location?
  • Can unfulfilling work be balanced with volunteer activities in meaningful areas?
  • Are you content to approach less fulfilling paid work now, with the attitude that some skills or contacts may eventually contribute to your future employment?
  • Is commuting to a different location for the work week feasible for you and your family in order for you to find fulfilling employment?
  • Is further educational study a way to balance less fulfilling employment?
  • How can you stay engaged with the latest technology, processes and changes in your field, if you choose or are forced to take a break from the workforce?

• Build Strong Spiritual and Family Relationships.

  The military provides a number of free programs, including weekend spiritual retreats, marriage enrichment weekends, and family strengthening programs. While directed by the Chaplain Branch, military family and marriage programs are non-denominational and provide the opportunity to strengthen and improve your relationships and communication skills. More programs are becoming “purple,” that is, inclusive of members and families from all Services. If there isn’t a marriage-enrichment program specific to your Service in your location, don’t be afraid to ask a sister Service if you can attend their program.

• Air Force. Marriage Care is a free weekend retreat program designed to help Airmen and their families reintegrate into family life after a deployment. It is open to active duty, reserve and National Guard Airmen and their spouses. Check with your Airman and Family Readiness Center for availability near you.
• Army. Strong Bonds offers single Soldiers, couples and families relationship-building skills to thrive within the military lifestyle. The Strong Bonds couple weekend retreat is offered by Army chaplains and is designed to strengthen relationships, inspire hope and rekindle marriages. Strong Bonds is open to active duty Army, Army National Guard, Army Reserve and Air National Guard families.
• Coast Guard, Navy & Marine Corps Program. Chaplain’s Religious Enrichment Development Operation (CREDO) Spiritual Fitness Division provides Coast Guard, Navy and Marine Corps families with four programs offered at 10 locations worldwide. Retreat options include Personal Growth retreats, Warrior Transition retreats, Marriage Enrichment retreats and Family Enrichment retreats. Additional retreats and seminars vary by location, but past topics have addressed Spiritual Growth, Women, Single Service members, and returning Individual Augmentees (IA’s) and their families. All CREDO retreats are free, including meals and lodging. Registration is required.
• National Guard and Reserve Programs. National Guard and Reserve families are eligible for the Service programs listed above as well as marriage enrichment programs within your state of assignment. Marriage enrichment programs vary by state. For example, the Ohio National Guard offers the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) as well as a follow-on to PREP called LINKS (Lasting Intimacy through Nurturing, Knowledge and Skills).

• Balance Family Responsibilities and Childcare.

  Caregivers often feel stretched while coping with the physical, emotional, and financial demands of caring for others, and this can be amplified as a Military Spouse. Living a life with a spouse who is away on military courses or deployments is akin in many ways to living as a single parent. Military Spouses are responsible for maintaining all of the various elements of household life that would otherwise be shared with a partner. One of the more difficult parts of this responsibility is caring for children, particularly if you are working or seeking work. Convenient, quality child care options are vital for those career-minded military spouses with families, but you may face long wait lists at some locations, and many child care options do not support extended hours. In-home nannies may be a more viable option for families with more than one child, or families in which both parents may work outside of traditional hours. On-base childcare facilities can be a great option, but back-up arrangements need to be in place for any illness or Federal and training holidays during which care will be unavailable. In peak military locations, military childcare facilities may have long waiting lists or be unable to support parents working part-time. Pinpointing the best childcare solution for you must involve:

• Identifying your likely hours of work and the potential for you to travel or to be required for after-hours work.
• Anticipating the work schedule and deployments of the service member.
• Researching the location and commuting time to child care facilities.
• Understanding the wait list for childcare options.

Military resources including toll-free assistance lines to help military spouses locate childcare through the Child Development Center network and in the local community can be accessed through Military OneSource. Military Spouses seeking to explore a nanny option should visit Sittercity.com, which offers free membership to military families. Care.com and NannyPro (PDF, 2.4 MB) offer free guides to walk you through the nanny hiring process. Be aware that hiring a household employee does have tax implications, which can be researched through the IRS website.

Physical Wellness

Good nutrition and a regular exercise program can be the first aspects of your life to fall away when things get hectic. Maintaining your physical wellness requires you to make the time and effort for these activities. Consider the following programs and ideas:

• Company Health and Wellness Programs.

  Does your company or potential employer actively promote health and wellness through allowing lunchtime exercise, encouraging walk/bike to work weeks, or by providing other flexibility to employees to pursue a healthy lifestyle? If not, could you work with your employer to develop this style of program?

• Plan simple meals for the entire week.

  You may have the best intentions of preparing a gourmet meal every night, but in dual career families the evening meal can become an additional stress if not planned ahead. Shop early for the week and focus on simple, easy to prepare meals such as grilled meat and salad that will yield leftovers, which provide a healthy lunch the next day.

• Utilize free and discounted programs at local fitness clubs.

  In addition to the free gym access and low-cost classes at your local installation, many other organizations offer special programs for military families. These may include childcare while you exercise and weekend options that may be more suitable for working parents.

  • YMCA. Free programs and childcare for deployed families and family members in remote locations.
  • International Health Racquet & Sportsclub Association (IHRSA). Offers free memberships to immediate family members of deployed reservists and National Guard members. Clubs also provide additional benefits such as childcare and discounts for active duty families.
  • The American Council on Exercise. Provides free personal training and fitness instruction to family members of deployed reservists and National Guard members.

Social Wellness

Social well-being involves achieving a work-life balance that you are comfortable with, and a community of family and friends around you that provide a constant support structure for any situation.

• Work-Life Balance.

  Work-life balance does not mean equal balance! Trying to schedule an equal number of hours for each of your various work and personal activities is usually unrewarding and unrealistic. Life is and should be more fluid than that. Work-life balance is an abstract concept that involves achieving enough balance between your work and personal life that no additional stress is felt from a desire for more satisfaction from either. Advantages of achieving a work-life balance include better productivity, a more satisfying work experience, improved relationships both on and off the job, and less stress overall. As a Military Spouse, you may find your work-life balance is always a juggling act because the military rarely lends itself to a predictable family life. The best approach to work-life balance is to regularly assess your personal situation and to find ways to create and adjust that balance as circumstances in your life dictate. For some Military Spouses, working additional hours during deployments creates value and balance in their lives. For others, additional work can’t be productively or enjoyably maintained, and they may seek to reduce their working hours. Use the following suggestions to regularly review or adjust your work-life balance:

  • Flexible work arrangements.

    Consider flexible schedules, alternate location work arrangements, or job sharing, and be supportive of these arrangements for colleagues and subordinates. There may be some aspects of your work that can be completed from home outside of regular business hours. Speak with your manager and negotiate the completion of some tasks from home, so that you can maximize some of your regular work hours for undertaking non-work related responsibilities that can only be accomplished in working hours. For example, an additional two-hour period away from the office one day a week may give you the flexibility to attend military command or school events that you would otherwise miss.

  • Keep your supervisor appraised.

    Help your manager understand the right balance for your life, and work together with her to develop a work arrangement that supports both of your needs. Ensure your supervisor is aware of any additional burdens you face, such as a spousal deployment, and talk about ways of ensuring that you can continue to perform in the workplace while dealing with additional tasks or stress.

  • Enjoy time away from work.

    Technology has blurred the lines between the workplace and home life, so be conscious of checking emails and responding to calls in your personal time.

  • Community Involvement.

    Getting involved with your local community and giving back significantly enhances your social wellness. Due to the short time many Military Families have in each location, they often neglect developing ties outside of the workforce and their immediate military community. When you are seeking work or are employed, it can be particularly difficult to find the time to volunteer or to engage with people outside your immediate sphere of contact. One way around this is to seek out specific events at which you can contribute, rather than making long-term volunteer commitments that can add stress and end up negatively affecting your mental wellness. Sign up for a beach clean-up morning, offer to speak at a school, or take a meal to one person in need. Small acts of involvement will reap significant rewards by engaging you with the wider community, and contributing to your sense of social wellbeing.

  • Support Systems.

    A good support system of family and friends is invaluable. As a career-minded Military Spouse you may find yourself missing some of the support activities and get-togethers associated with the Military, because they are often conducted during the work day. Join or start anIn Gear Career Local Chapter to seek out and connect with like-minded Military Spouses in your location. Engage with your local Military Spouse support group to meet other people in your location, and make every effort to attend work social functions or wider networking events in your area to connect with people who may become a more long-term part of your social support system.

Your overall wellness depends on your ability to support your mental, physical and social wellbeing. Please share any other useful programs you have seen, and tell us your successful strategies to improve your own wellness.